My big night out: I raced for the train with my bladder bursting – and it was the start of a disastrous journey

If the train had had a single working toilet I would have been fine. Ditto if it had been the fast route. But I was on the slow train to Derby and knew I was in trouble ...

I had been visiting my boyfriend in London for the weekend. He was a hard-up student and I was still at sixth-form, but beer was pretty cheap in 2000, so we had been out for a few pints. Now we were racing to St Pancras so I could get the last train home to Derby.

I legged it through the station and made it on to the train with seconds to spare. No time for the loo, but I’d relieve myself on the train. Or so I thought.