The common pub habit that makes you every bartender’s least favourite punter

There’s a code of conduct when it comes to pubs: never form a line, put a coin on the side of the pool table to reserve a spot, and resist the urge to rob your glass.

Another is to always know what you want to order before you approach the bar, making sure not to hold everyone else up while you umm and ah.

‘It’s a small thing, but when the queue is three people deep, extra seconds or minutes add up,’ says Todd N, North London Account Manager at Beavertown.

This may seem obvious, but staff see this unspoken rule broken time and time again, so some people clearly need a refresher on proper boozer etiquette.

Lisa Williams, landlady of The Cricketers Pub in Farncombe, Surrey, tells Metro: ‘You can always spot the customers who haven’t thought about what they order until they get to me. They stare at me then start thinking, it drives me crazy!’

According to Phil McAree, general manager of the Hoop and Grapes in Clerkenwell, ‘novice drinkers’ and the ‘part-time’ crowd who only come in at Christmas are typically guilty of this.

‘It’s a bit frustrating because our team are drilled to cope with big orders, but they need the order so they can figure out what the best way to go about it,’ he tells Metro.

‘So if you’ve got someone who’s like “I’ll have this, and then have a little think about it, and then, oh yeah, so and so wanted this”, it makes it a lot slower.

‘All bar staff are aiming to do is just deliver that round of drinks as quickly as possible, and move on to the next punter.’

Having come from a family of publicans and with over 20 years of experience in the industry, Phil is well used to indecisive customers, to the point he no longer gets annoyed.

He notes that the clientele at the Hoop and Grapes, a Grade II listed spot which he reopened this month after it closed in 2019, largely ‘tend to know what they want’ — but even if they don’t, ‘at the end of the day, they’re paying our wages’.

Still, Phil says that in the hospitality world, certain things ‘endear you to people a lot more’, and politeness is key. To become a bartender’s absolute favourite though, bring your glass back once you’re done.

‘There’s something magical about it,’ he explains. ‘We’re like, “wow, what an amazing person”, falling over ourselves. It’s our job to go and get the empty glasses, but it’s sort of like a little token of thanks.’

Order Guinness first

Alongside having your order ready when you reach the bar, the order you ask for the drinks is also important; specifically, stout (such as Guinness) should always come first.

Dougal Sharp, founder and master brewer at Innis and Gunn, tells Metro: ‘They’re never a quick hand-over like a lager or a spirit and mixer, so ordering the stout first means the bartender can pour it, let it settle, and get on with the rest of the order at the same time.

‘You’re back at the table quicker, and it helps bar staff keep things moving when it’s busy.’

As Becky McCabe, co-founder at drinks brand training app, Brandee, notes, it takes 119.5 seconds to pour the perfect pint of Guinness — and that two minutes makes all the difference in a busy pub.

By giving them that bit of extra notice, she says ‘the team will quietly love you,’ telling Metro: ‘It makes service smoother, eases the pressure behind the bar, and marks you down as a top customer.’

And in contrast to a recent YouGov poll which found that 45% of Brits reckon they could get it right on their first try, Lisa says: ‘The ones who order Guinness last have obviously never poured a pint of it in their life.’

‘I could serve twice as fast if everyone knew what they wanted and ordered the tricky ones first,’ she adds. ‘Luckily I’ve managed to train my regulars well.’

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