You need diplomatic tact to run two homes!

Published 2 hours ago
Source: vanguardngr.com
You need diplomatic tact to run two homes!

By Bunmi Sofola

For years, Kemi, a senior executive officer in one f the Federal ministries resisted attempts by her ministry to transfer her to the head office in Abuja.  Pulling all the strings available to her and Andy, her politician husband, she hung on to her position in Lagos until a few years ago when she was promoted.  Her new position’s department was based in Abuja and she had to decide to either take it up or resign.

By this time, her four children were quite grown and able to look after themselves – their father inclusive.  With her husband’s blessings, she reluctantly relocated to her new station.

“Accommodation has always been a problem in Abuja,” Kemi said; and rather than stay in an hotel for a few weeks then start looking all over again for where to stay, I put up with another colleague who had a two-bedroom flat.  I offered to pay for the one room she let me have pending when I found alternate accommodation – she knew I was given a generous allowance to help me relocate and didn’t bat an eyelid as she pocketed the money I gave her.  But I missed the buzz of a family life.  My husband had now become my good friend and confidant and he seemed to be getting on with the children.  My daughters love cooking and the boys too are quite independent.  I was the one missing home.

“I used to rush home every weekend but my allowance was running out and flight tickets weren’t cheap, so I cut my visits down to once a fortnight.  It was during one of my weekends at Abuja that I reluctantly went to an official dinner and sat next to Femi, one of the contractors we used in the ministry.  A fairly good looking man my age, he was quite friendly and had kept popping into the office from time to time, and we got on fairly well.  At the end of the dinner, he saw me to my cr then said softly: “How about me taking you out to dinner one of these days – just the two of us?” I laughed at him.  ‘You know I can’t,’ I said, waving my wedding ring in his face, I’m married, and so are you.”  He just laughed and went back to the restaurant.  The following week, he was back in the office.  A cheeky Jack-the-lad type, he kept on flattering and giving me suggestive looks.  What women wouldn’t enjoy a bit of flirting?  In the end, I gave in to his dinner offer.  It was lonely staying in the flat as my flatmate was quite busy and had her won social life.  With Andy away in Lagos, I missed the attention of a man.  When Femi turned up to take me out, he was so casually dressed he looked boyishly sexy!  I quickly checked myself and the dinner was lovely – a cosy restaurant far from the gazing eyes of people we might know.

“We went out a few more times before I reluctantly agreed to have a look at his ‘pad’ as he called it.  With his family in Lagos, just like mine, he kept a mini flat for his Abuja transactions.  It was a very impressive flat – tastefully furnished with a resident cook who served a mouth-watering local dish.  We hardly ate much, I was on tenterhooks and the cook discreetly disappeared.  I was already thinking all sorts of things I shouldn’t have been.  I was no fool.

‘Agreeing to see his ‘pad’ meant I was game for anything.  After that first night, there was no looking back.  We carried – both of us cheating on our spouses.  I was riddled with guilty at first.  I couldn’t believe I was actually living two lives – one with Femi whenever he was in Abuja, and the other with my husband when I went for my fortnight visits.  I was petrified Andy would find out or the kids might suspect something.  Then there was Femi’s wife.  In my wildest thoughts, I never imagined I’d be the kind of woman to steal someone else’ husband.  But I wasn’t actually stealing anything though I was by now half in love with Femi, we didn’t discuss breaking up our marriages.  Besides, after a while, being with the two men became easier.  It was always wonderful to see Andy and the kids and our lovemaking was just a good as it always was.

“Could it be possible to love two men at the same time?  I loved my husband but I couldn’t give Femi up either, I needed then both.  So I decided to continue leading this double life.  Because of my relocation to Abuja, I could get away with it.  After the six month rent I gave to my colleague ran out, I moved into Femi’s ‘pad.’  But I found it a bit too nerve-racking after a while.  I had two lives, two homes, two men.  Femi was the most caring boyfriend you’d even want.

“We’d either stay in or eat out and he was generous.  My husband liked doing mere domestic things.  He loved staying at home with the children and was also a gentle lover.  I had to lie to my family that I rented Femi’s flat furnished.  That the owner would be away for a year after which I would start looking for alternative accommodation.

“In time, I had two sets of friends – the Abuja ones I made with Femi and the ones had at home.  Two sets of wardrobes – smart suits for work and posh dresses for when I went out with Femi.  With my husband, I wore casuals at home and native gears when we went out.  When I bought toiletries, I had to buy two sets.  After awhile, Femi started getting jealous of my husband – he said it was amazing how I could juggle two men for so long.  He made it look a bit seedy.  Whenever any of my brood visited, which wasn’t often, Femi discreetly disappeared or he would be down in Lagos.  Once, my daughter came to the house unannounced, meaning to give me a pleasant surprise and met me seeing off Femi outside the flat!  It was a close shave – if she’d have found us in a cosy clinch!  I said glibly.  “He just came round to drop some papers.” I felt really terrible!

“Then, out of the blues, my office said it was transferring me back to Lagos!  I was in a complete mess as Femi insisted we continued with our affair.  I could always come to Abuja on official duties, and he had another cosy flat in Lagos!  After a while, I discovered I couldn’t two-time my husband on his own territory.

“So, I did the cowardly thing and sent a text to Femi, ending it all.  He rushed to my office the next day and I had to explain to him that I never meant to hurt anybody, but I would rather be faithful to my husband now I was back in Lagos.  ‘You weren’t exactly thinking about being faithful when you holed up with me all those months in Abuja, were you?’ he sneered.  I was hurt – he needn’t be so bitter.  We were both married, the affair wasn’t meant to last forever, but he still made me feel as if I’d used him.

“I realized now what a fool I’ve been.  The fact that I was lonely when I first went to Abuja was no excuse to go looking for love elsewhere.  I missed the life I had with Femi but I love my husband and the home we’ve created together.  I’ve learnt my wonderful, caring husband ever again!

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