‘We know the names of your cats’ sounds like a bizarre threat – but this time it was just classic British passive aggression at its finest.
Coffee shop customer Paulina, 32, was given the damning indictment in a handwritten note telling her she was too loud.
She was in the middle of a ‘mundane’ conversation in a Hammersmith cafe in west London when an older woman came up to the table and smacked the piece of paper on their table.
The double-sided note, written in cursive green ink, read: ‘Hi, I don’t know if you are aware; your voice, volume of, has been overwhelming to us.
‘We have been unable to have a conversation as we cannot hear each other. However, we have heard every word of your conversation – we now know the names of your cats.
‘This is a space for more than yourself and unfortunately we have had to leave. Something to think about.’
Paulina said she hadn’t realised her chat in the small living-room-sized cafe had been anything louder than normal volume.
The teacher said the woman had been sitting in a group of four facing away from her, before they stormed out.
The angry customer was ‘exactly the type of person you’d expect to have this handwriting’, Paulina added.
She told Metro: ‘I didn’t see death glares from their table. My friend was really shocked.
‘I am mortified. I’ve asked all my friends “am I really loud? Have I ruined you day with my loudness?”‘
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Paulina said the topic of her cats – rescue kittens called Prada and Miu Miu – had briefly come up but that most of their chat was just about work.
‘It was nothing too crazy. It wasn’t gossip-y talk. My friend was really shocked,’ she added.
Paulina, who did not want to give her surname, said the cafe leapt to her defence.
She recalled: ‘The owner came up to us and asked”do you know them?”
‘When we told him about the note he said he was really surprised because he didn’t hear us talking. The owner was really lovely.’
Paulina, who is originally from Poland but lived in Liverpool before moving to London in June, said the note was revealing about the British aversion to confrontation.
She explained: ‘I am Polish. We are a culturally direct people.
‘I have asked people to turn down their music before and there was no problem and it ended on a friendly note. I wish that happened this time.
‘This is the only slightly negative interaction I’ve had with someone in public.
‘I do not subscribe to the negative Londoner stereotype. It was just a strange situation.’
Despite the awkward moment, the note has given Paulina pause for thought for future public conversations.
She said: ‘I have no ill will towards the people who left the note. I do feel sad if I made their day worse.
‘The content of the note is a good reminder to stay mindful, it is just a very creative way to go about it.’
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