Dear Coronation Street – why do you do this to us?
For months, Becky Swain (Amy Cudden) has gone from nuts to bananas as the crazed ex-copper has returned from the dead to split up Carla Connor (Alison King) and Lisa Swain (Vicky Myers).
Coming between one of my beloved soap couples was bad enough. While the whole “coming back from the dead thing” was tougher to swallow than day old hotpot, it was nothing compared to the lengths Psycho Swain went to just to hospitalise and silence the corrupt Detective Inspector that helped her get away with it, Jeremy Costello (Dion Broni).
Then again, the man was threatening her dreams of winning back her ex-wife Lisa and their daughter Betsy Swain (Sydney Martin). Fair enough.
But the fact that Lisa, a detective inspector herself, ignored Carla’s suspicions and warnings about Becky’s blatant attempts to come between them makes me seriously question the interview process of Weatherfield Police Department.
Don’t get me wrong. I have enjoyed this story immensely. Howling with frustration as Becky finally succeeded in breaking up Swarla is my idea of a good Friday night.
But when she kidnapped Carla and kept her locked in that cupboard like that old juicer you never use, I took it as a sign that the bunny-boiling Ballad of Becky Swain had reached its final verse.
Corriedale was the moment. After Cobbles Cobber Kit Greene (Jacob Roberts) had finally freed her from that accursed airing cupboard, they leapt in the car to stop Becky from fleeing the country with Lisa and Betsy. Seeing Lisa answer a phone call from Carla was the distraction that caused Becky to lose control and crash the car.
A hopeful nation held its breath. Surely nobody could be this much of a loon for so long and stay alive? Surely this is final judgment from the Soap Gods for splitting up Swarla? Surely this is the end of the Swainiac?
Narrator’s voice – no, it wasn’t. Becky lives to scheme another day.
In the devastating aftermath of the crash, upcoming scenes will see Lisa rocked by the shocking truth which every soap fan in Britain already knew – that her ex-wife is a pound shop Glenn Close in Fatal Attractions.
Betsy is particularly upset by this revelation, who blames herself for failing to realise that Carla was right all along. There, there, Betsy. Don’t blame yourself – get your mum to blame herself instead!
Don't miss a Soaps scoop! Add us as a Preferred Source
As a loyal Metro Soaps reader, we want to make sure you never miss our articles when searching for stories. We have all the latest soaps news, spoilers, videos, and interviews, with a vibrant community of highly engaged readers.
Click here and tick Metro.co.uk to ensure you see stories from us first in Google Search.
Fearing that she’s lost Carla forever, Lisa begs Carla for another chance, swears that she wants to be with her and laments that letting Becky back into her life was a catastrophic mistake – basically everything I’ve been yelling at my TV since October. But wait, there’s more! She’s going to visit Becky in prison to tell her just that.
But Hell hath no story like a Swain scorned. Lisa visits Becky and spells out that she never wants to see her again and hopes she rots in prison.
It’s probably not a good idea to upset the kind of woman who was prepared to firebomb her own house just to get her ex and daughter to move to Spain. Without giving too much away, Becky is less than pleased by Lisa’s outburst.
What twisted revenge does she have in store? Well, I have my theories. All I can say is Lisa, I hope you’re comfortable in an airing cupboard…
