Former Disney Channel stars are once again making headlines — this time over an unexpectedly messy fallout involving motherhood, social media, and a very public clapback.
The drama began when Ashley Tisdale published a candid essay on The Cut about leaving what she called a ‘toxic’ celebrity mom group, widely reported to include Hilary Duff.
While Ashley avoided naming names, the piece quickly went viral and sparked intense online speculation.
Hilary’s husband, Matthew Koma, soon responded with a savage Instagram spoof that branded Ashley ‘the most self-obsessed tone deaf person on earth.’
The post, widely seen as a defence of Hilary, poured fuel on an already smouldering situation.
Although Ashley later clarified that her essay was not about Hilary, the internet — and longtime Disney fans — had already picked sides.
It’s also brought an especially millennial flavour of drama to the internet: mum groups, Instagram Stories, The Cut essays, and a very pointed parody post.
Here’s everything you need to know.
What started the feud?
The drama kicked off after Ashley Tisdale published an essay for The Cut on January 1 titled Breaking Up With My Toxic Mom Group.
In it, the High School Musical star opened up about her experience in a celebrity mothers’ group that she said gradually became exclusionary and emotionally draining.
Without naming names, Ashley described noticing she was no longer being invited to group hangouts, something she says became impossible to ignore thanks to social media.
‘I remember being left out of a couple of group hangs, and I knew about them because Instagram made sure it fed me every single photo and Instagram Story,’ she wrote.
She went on to explain that although she initially tried to brush off the situation, she could sense ‘a growing distance’ between herself and the rest of the group.
Ashley ended her essay with a reflective note, writing: ‘If a mom group consistently leaves you feeling hurt, drained, or left out, it’s not the mom group for you… Friendships, like all relationships, have seasons.’
Who was allegedly in the ‘toxic mom group’?
While Ashley didn’t explicitly identify the group members in the essay, reports quickly linked it to a circle that included Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, and Meghan Trainor — all high-profile celebrity mothers.
Ashley clarified in the essay that she didn’t consider the women ‘bad people (maybe one),’ but felt the group dynamic had stopped being healthy for her.
She said she ultimately texted the group to announce her exit, writing: ‘This is too high school for me and I don’t want to take part in it anymore.’
How did Hilary Duff’s husband, Matthew Koma, get involved?
Things escalated when Matthew Koma weighed in publicly.
Shortly after the essay went viral, Koma posted a spoof image to Instagram featuring his face photoshopped onto Ashley’s body in a promotional-style photo. The fake headline read:’When You’re The Most Self-Obsessed Tone Deaf Person On Earth, Other Moms Tend To Shift Focus To Their Actual Toddlers.’
It also featured the subheading: ‘A Mom Group Tell All Through A Father’s Eyes.’
He captioned the post: ‘Read my new interview with @TheCut.’
The post was widely interpreted as a direct response to Ashley’s essay and as a firm defence of his wife.
Why Hilary Duff is at the centre of it
Hilary, best known for Lizzie McGuire, has not publicly commented on the situation.
However, Ashley unfollowed both Hilary and Mandy Moore on Instagram shortly before the essay’s publication, fuelling speculation that at least part of the piece was about her former Disney contemporary.
Matthew and Hilary have been married for five years and share three children: Banks (7), Mae (4), and Townes (20 months). Hilary is also mum to 13-year-old Luca, whom she shares with her ex-husband Mike Comrie.
Ashley Tisdale’s clarification
As the backlash grew, Ashley’s representative issued a statement to TMZ, clarifying that she was not referring to Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, or Meghan Trainor when describing the group’s ‘toxic’ behaviour.
Still, the timing of the unfollows – combined with Matthew Koma’s very public response – has made that clarification difficult for fans to fully reconcile.
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