The post-Christmas lull – also known as Twixmas – is something of a no man’s land.
With the exception of New Year’s Eve, the continuation of family arguments, and the near-constant snacking on cheese, chocolate, and anything left over from the big day, the festivities are largely over. And so, there’s a huge gap in the calendar until normality resumes on January 5.
If you work a job that permits time off for this week, you might spend it wrapped up with a book, catching up on TV, or even finding quiet moments to decompress alone. But the overwhelmingly implied instruction is to do nothing at all – and for people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), that can be challenging.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in November 2021, at the age of 23. A neurological condition that fits under the neurodiversity umbrella, ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain’s executive functions that can cause struggles with impulse control, focus, organisation, emotional regulation, and various other symptoms.
My relationship with Twixmas is complicated. By the end of the year, I’m usually running on very little steam and in desperate need of a proper break. I’m burned out and in need of breathing space, but accomplishing that with a brain that is often characterised by both mental and physical restlessness is always an uphill struggle.
I always feel pressured to really soak up the nothingness that Twixmas can provide. And yet, every single year, I begin January often as burned out and exhausted as I began, simply because I couldn’t get my brain to quieten, even if I have managed to take a break from work.
I’m not alone. Nikki was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism in her mid-40s, and she also finds the festive period challenging.
‘I find the change in my routine increases my anxiety, making it even harder to embrace the festivities,’ she tells Metro.
‘Before my diagnosis, I used to end up tearful over Christmas, overstimulated and overwhelmed, and desperate to find some quiet time.’
Her diagnosis has empowered her to channel experiences that work for her during Twixmas, and so from now on, she’ll be focusing on activities she enjoys – like jewellery-making and sewing – rather than implementing a complete shut-down.
Similarly, James finds his brain is still buzzing with thoughts and plans during Twixmas.
He says: ‘My brain’s always on the go. It’s like having a bunch of open tabs, and even when I try to close a few, there’s always one or two that refuse to shut down.
‘What I’ve come to appreciate, though, is the small victories. Maybe I can’t switch off entirely, but I’ve learned to find joy in those quiet moments.
‘Whether it’s reading a book for 10 minutes without getting distracted or simply savouring a cup of tea without my thoughts racing, those moments count.’
So, why might people with ADHD find it difficult to unwind during Twixmas?
Kate Moryoussef, host of the ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast, notes that people with ADHD might find the downtime that comes with this time of year ‘dysregulating.’
She explains: ‘Sometimes, even though we’re on the cusp of burnout, we’re used to living with this perpetual state of our nervous system just being on.
‘When we’re told that we need just to do nothing and our routine goes out the window, it can feel discombobulating and a bit dysregulating.
‘It’s hard for us when we haven’t got that dopamine, when we aren’t in and out of our meetings, driving to work and having time to decompress from family life,’ she adds, noting that having a house overflowing with guests and potentially some family members who might be triggering, comprises an extra layer of difficulty.
Importantly, people with ADHD might approach the festive season in a different way than most. Some of us might choose not to have any plans (particularly during the post-Christmas lull) at all.
‘The festive period can trigger intense experiences of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and comparisons to others,’ Leanne Maskell, an ADHD coach and the founder of ADHD Works, suggests.
‘This can also result in excessive masking as we may feel pressure to present “acceptable” versions of ourselves to others,’ she adds, noting that this aspect might be heightened amid intermittent nationwide shortages of certain ADHD medications that have left thousands struggling.
‘Carve out time for decompression’
So, how can people with ADHD unwind over the Christmas break? Firstly, ensure you schedule time for yourself.
‘Make sure that you carve time out for decompression,’ Kate suggests. ‘Watch where you’re dopamine seeking, perhaps with alcohol, and be as self-aware and intentional as you can.’
For Peter Shankman, entrepreneur and author of Faster Than Normal: Turbocharge Your Focus, Productivity, and Success with the Secrets of the ADHD Brain, taking a break from technology is fundamental.
‘Forgetting” about my tech means leaving the phone and the laptop in the other room when I’m doing something with my daughter or family. If it’s not there, I don’t feel the need to look at it every twenty seconds. Simple, but it works,’ he shares.
Likewise, he makes sure to prioritise exercise – and either gets on his Peloton or goes for a run every morning. This is one routine he makes sure to keep amid all the upheaval that comes with Twixmas, and it allows him to gather as much dopamine as possible.
‘When I don’t work out, I’m not as “present,” and I fall back into my usual “sit in front of my computer and work non-stop” mode,’ he explains.
‘So making sure I exercise allows my brain to come up with different ways to be present, whether for a holiday event, or even just a movie on a random Tuesday during the two weeks my ten-year-old daughter has off.’
Recognising your own emotions and showing some self-compassion can also go a long way.
‘Communicating with others about how you’re feeling can also be especially helpful to have someone to ask for help and support throughout this period. It can also be very validating to connect with other neurodivergent people and realise that you are not alone,’ Leanne adds.
Ultimately, navigating the post-Christmas lull as a neurodivergent person should be about doing what works best for you.
‘Even though society tells us that it needs to be one way, we need to do what works for us and what feels good to us,’ Kate concludes.
‘If that is taking yourself off for a walk or a drive, then that’s okay. If you’ve had a day where the end of it, it just feels like you’re climbing the walls and you’ve not had a breather, what can you change the next day? What can you put in place as a prevention and how can you ask for help?’
This Twixmas, let’s understand that rest isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. The blueprint of ‘rest and relaxation’ that is part and parcel of the post-Christmas lull doesn’t work for everyone, particularly not for neurodivergent people.
So, let’s reclaim it – and reinvent it into whatever we’d like it, and need it, to be.
This article was originally published on December 27, 2023.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
