Watching my sons reach towards a special present under our tree, I don’t know who was more excited, them or me!
Of course, I knew exactly what they were going to find inside – the Nintendo Switch they’d been longing for – but so did they.
For the past year, two of my three boys had been saving their pocket money, earning a bit from chores and even contributing Christmas cash to help buy it.
Some may think I’m taking the magic out of Christmas by getting my boys to help pay for their toys. But I think it teaches them a valuable lesson about money.
The quest for a Nintendo Switch had all started the year before, in 2019, when my oldest son Alex, then aged seven, asked for the console for Christmas as he already knew that it was mum and dad putting the presents under the tree, not Santa.
But with a price tag approaching £250 (not including any games) my husband and I were reluctant to just buy it outright. I also didn’t want it to be one of those things he’d requested on a whim – we all know that small children can ask for stuff one minute and be bored of it the next.
No, getting the Switch would have to wait until his next birthday or even the following Christmas.
So, we gently explained that it would be best if we all saved up as a family to afford it and warned that it could take a bit of time to achieve.
Luckily, he wasn’t fazed and quickly set about making it happen. Even his brother William, my middle son who is two years younger, also started saving towards it too.
Between them they saved up cash given by family and friends on birthdays and did age-appropriate chores like dusting the house or helping with laundry duty for a couple of quid at a time. Eventually, they’d saved up enough for their share of the console.
In total it ended up costing about £350 with a few games and accessories to get them started and I would say that they contributed about half of that, with the rest coming from us and grandparents.
But even though they knew it was coming, nothing compared to seeing their excited faces when they finally unwrapped it.
As this had been such a success though, my husband and I decided we would now do it other years for gifts that were going to blow the budget.
We count anything that is going to be in the hundreds rather than the tens as an expensive gift and the kids are only too happy to help out.
Nowadays, they do extra chores like washing the car, cleaning the windows or helping with the garden to earn cash if they want a big ticket item. And because we’ve been doing this for a fair few years now, the boys take it in their stride and just see it as normal.
They understand that we all make choices about what we do with our money and if we spend a lot on something we don’t really want or need, then we might have to cut back on other areas, like family days out or holidays.
As for me, I don’t set a budget per child, but I don’t like the thought of blowing my budget on just one item. I still like to spoil them with lots of little parcels under the tree, plus there’s everyone else’s gifts to get and all the food and drink that makes the festivities special. It all adds up.
So, I tend to go on how comfortable I feel with the cost of whatever they have asked for, be that an expensive VR headset or the latest phone, and work out their share from there.
Honestly, I couldn’t be prouder of them. The boys have done really well with our approach to gift-giving and understand that part of the joy of presents is offering them to others as well as receiving them themselves.
Thankfully no-one really bats an eyelid at our approach either as they can see the boys are happy and not missing out on the magic.
Besides, we’ve never been big on Santa in our house anyway – that’s why my kids learnt from an early age who was really funding the festivities and have tried to teach them that the true meaning of Christmas isn’t found in a present under the tree.
One year, my auntie sent them each a tenner and we used it to do a Secret Santa between the kids. So each boy had one brother to buy for and I took them all into the same shop one at a time to spend the money on a present.
It was really fun and helped the boys understand the value of giving as well as receiving.
Another bonus is that the boys are generally very gracious when they get gifts from family and friends, even if it might not be what they wanted, as they know that presents shouldn’t be taken for granted.
We often get complimented on their lovely manners when they are given something, which makes me feel like we must be doing something right as parents.
More than anything though, I hope we have given them the gift of understanding how family finances work, which is worth more than anything you could find under the tree.
Having to save up for something you really want is like giving a gift to yourself and I think it’s good to treat yourself now and again. So though two of my boys have fairly low-key wish lists this year – partly because one of them is currently saving up for a school ski trip, as he knows that will cost quite a bit – I think they’re starting to understand the value of money.
My other son, meanwhile, asked for a PlayStation and saved about £100 towards it. And just between you and me, he’s likely to be a very happy boy on Christmas Day.
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