Presenter and DJ Tyler West has opened up about his suicide attempt as a 14-year-old in an emotional new interview.
The media personality, 29, has found national acclaim through his appearances on shows like Strictly Come Dancing and, more recently, Celebrity Race Across the World.
Coming off the back of a deeply personal, heartfelt journey alongside his fiancée, Molly Rainford, on the BBC reality series, he has spoken more about a traumatic experience which shaped him.
Recalling growing up on a council estate with his mother and brother, he spoke about one incident when he was 14, where he witnessed a man’s murder.
As he explained on the We Need to Talk podcast with Paul C Brunson, it occurred on his way back from an after-school club.
That day, when he approached his home, he noticed three known ‘local alcoholics’ having ‘an argument out in the middle of the road’ which he continued watching through his window.
As the confrontation escalated, one of the men was knocked to the ground before another pulled out a ’12-inch kitchen knife… and cut and slashed the man’s neck open,’ all whilst West’s mother was on the phone to the police.
West described: ‘It must have been about seven, eight minutes with the police. And in that seven, eight minutes, the man did not stop slashing and stabbing and slashing and stabbing, and it went on and on and o,n and I was just frozen. I remember it.’
After it was safe to go outside, his mum (who is a nurse) went out to help and described there being too much blood.’ ‘It felt like something from a horror movie,’ West said.
Tyler West opens up about the impact on his mental health
As West processed the immediate aftermath, he recalled having a ‘panic attack’, adding that ‘it was the hardest moment of my life without a doubt and changed my world forever.’
For two years after that fateful day, West struggled to carry on day-to-day, such as opening his blinds in the morning and being constantly hounded by the worry ‘something bad would happen to me’ if he used utensils like a knife and fork.
He also didn’t talk about what he was going through with those around him, which he called ‘ the worst decision I didn’t I ever made.’
He continued: ‘It built up a lot, a lot, a lot. I was just like sweeping it under the carpet to the point that [it] was unavoidable.
‘Then it all came out at once in so many different ways to the point that I tried to kill myself. It was tough.’
His suicidal thoughts stayed with him years later. One specific moment, he remembered thoughts ‘coming over [him] like a cloud’, and he left his house for a walk in ‘the middle of the night’.
After coming across a bridge, he recalled: ‘I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I felt so low, I felt like I can’t stop thinking about this. I just wanted to switch it off for a second,’ as he explained his ‘overthinking thought process’.
Eventually, a car sped by that beeped its horn.
‘Then I was like: “You’re not going to do this.” I was like, “You can’t.” I was like, “No way can you.” I went back home. I got into bed, and I woke up, and I was like: “Morning, mom.” I just went about my day,’ he concluded.
He reflected on his resolve to talk about the challenges he’s facing with the people in his life now, which has helped him as he continues to work on himself.
‘Each day that goes past, every hour that goes past, it’s all things moving forward. Not necessarily moving away from it because it’s always there, but another day of dealing with it better, another day of being better.’
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