We need a word for the special kind of disappointment you feel as you walk into an expensive hotel room and realise it doesn’t live up to expectations.
The sinking feeling that your hard-earned cash has been spent on a five-star hotel that doesn’t feel, well, five-star — far from it.
But how does your carefully chosen booking fall so spectacularly short?
I got the inside scoop from Metro columnist Chelsea Dickinson, founder of viral travel account Cheap Holiday Expert, who says we should all remember that a five-star hotel doesn’t necessarily mean a luxury one.
She also revealed the keywords you should search if you want to separate the remote-working hubs from the Ritz.
How do hotels get their stars in the UK?
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Even savvy travellers may not realise that hotel rating systems vary from country to country.
Each one has its own governing body that determines how many stars to grant or what criteria to use for the rating.
The UK’s system is pretty robust, according to Jo Rhodes, senior travel researcher at Which?.
Each year, hotels are required to pay a fee and undergo a secret overnight inspection by the local tourism board. That could be the AA Hotel and Hospitality Services, Visit England, Visit Wales and so on.
Inspectors assess staff and facilities, with a particular emphasis on six key areas: hospitality, service, bedrooms, bathrooms, cleanliness and food.
Chelsea says they zero in on the vibe of the décor and the quality of the furnishings, and make note of features such as baths in the bedrooms, 24-hour dining, business centres, and swimming pools.
We’ve added a box at the bottom of this article, laying out the criteria for three, four and five stars in the UK.
Which countries make hotels work the hardest for five-star clout?
According to Chelsea, it’s Germany and Switzerland.
I reviewed three five-star hotels in Switzerland this year, and all of them were up there with the best places I’ve had the privilege of laying my head.
Elsewhere, the rules are looser. Chelsea advises double-checking independent customer reviews before booking hotels in Egypt and parts of Turkey, as their ‘five-star’ might not be the standard expected in the UK.
On the other hand, she says Turkey is also the country where you can find the best value for money. ‘When they do it right, Turkey does luxury very, very well. Your money goes a long way.’
How can I tell if a five-star hotel is really five-star luxury?
It’s all about keywords and customer reviews, apparently.
‘Open up Google or TripAdvisor and search for terms like spa, entertainment, and business hotel. Someone will have written that in a review if there’s a staid or clinical feel,’ Chelsea says.
‘Search for things like drinks, and the word premium. In an all-inclusive, for example, they might give you beer and wine, but make you pay for gin.
‘The ultra five-star will include everything.’
Is the UK's five-star hotel rating system good enough?
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Yes
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No
It’s important to learn from previous guests. Before you book, Chelsea advises reading at least five to 10 independent reviews posted in the last few months.
And, as with everything in life, if it looks too good to be true, it almost certainly is.
‘If the rate is just too cheap – if they’re all coming up as 500 a night and one if 125, you have to say there’s a reason. Don’t be fooled.’
Hotel star rating criteria in the UK
3-star rating
- Good guest social skills and service, with ample numbers of staff to provide a prompt, courteous and efficient service
- A simple and efficient booking service, both digitally and via telephone
- Guests clearly directed to their room and given a brief explanation of location of hotel facilities
- Assistance with luggage available on request throughout the day and evening
- Iron and ironing board available
- Guests informed when they book if dinner is not available
- Provision is made for a variety of dietary requirements
- Sufficient restaurant staff to ensure prompt service at all meals served
- Restaurant staff demonstrate good levels of food, beverage and wine product knowledge and service skills
- A self-service buffet style breakfast is acceptable but should be replenished regularly
- A choice of substantial hot and cold dishes (self-service is acceptable)
- Room service is optional (except in the case of illness)
- A minimum of five bedrooms available for letting
- All bedrooms should have sufficient space for guests to move easily around the room
- Good access to both sides of beds for double occupancy
- Individually controlled thermostatic heating
4 star hotel (all of the above, plus…)
- Very good social skills and anticipation of individual guests’ needs evident
- Booking confirmation provided by email/text or letter from hotel (not only from third party booking site)
- Assistance with luggage offered on arrival and advertised as available for departure
- Laundry and possibly dry cleaning service provided and advertised with prices
- Courteous, unobtrusive and polite restaurant staff demonstrate very good levels of food, beverage and wine product knowledge and service skills
- Restaurant staff demonstrate proactive service, anticipating customer requirements
- Table service advertised and available on request at breakfast
- Room service should be provided and delivered to the room where there is a market need
- All bedrooms with a higher degree of spaciousness
- Individually controlled thermostatic heating operable 24-hours
5 star hotel (all of the above, plus…)
- Air conditioning, mechanical ventilation or ability to cool the room with fresh air that doesn’t allow noise or pollutants in the room
- Staff should anticipate individual guests’ needs to create unique and memorable experiences
- Staff impeccably presented
- Multilingual staff if there is a market need
- Ability to make a prompt and effective booking, 24 hours a day
- Guests are shown to their room and given a full orientation of hotel and bedroom facilities
- Hotel staff taking control of luggage from guest’s arrival outside to prompt delivery in bedroom. The same quality of service repeated on departure
- 24-hour return laundry service
- At least one restaurant/outlet open to residents for all meals during hotel opening hours 7 days a week
- Restaurant tables should have sufficient space around them to allow a high degree of privacy and freedom of movement
- Highly trained, professional and pro-active restaurant staff that escort guests to their tables
- Restaurant staff demonstrate excellent levels of food, beverage and wine product knowledge and service skills
- Table service proactively offered at breakfast
- Full table service of all dinner courses served to the guest at their table
- A broad range of dishes at dinner of outstanding quality
- Staff demonstrate excellent drinks knowledge and service skills. Likely to involve dedicated wine team (sommelier)
- 24-hour room service of hot and cold snacks and drinks including alcoholic drinks where there is a market need
- Majority of bedrooms very spacious
- A minimum of one permanent luxury suite (with at least three separate rooms)
- Beds for double occupancy to be at least 153cm (5ft) in width
Source: AA Hotel Hospitality and Services
