‘Working in end of life care has taught me to be so grateful for my health and happiness,’ says Leaah Deans, 41.
Every year, the mum-of-five leaves her family at Christmas to head to the Marie Curie hospice she’s worked at in Penarth for the past 20 years.
‘My children have never known any different,’ she tells Metro. ‘I’ve always worked a Christmas shift, whether it’s Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or Boxing Day.
‘I’s so important to me to make sure our patients have the best possible Christmas. It is sadly, in all likelihood, going to be their last.
‘Every day in the hospice matters, but this time of year is especially poignant.’
The patients that Leeah cares for are dying, and have come to the Marie Curie Hospice, Cardiff and the Vale, for palliative care.
This means it’s the teams’ job to improve their patients’ quality of life as best they can, by providing relief from the pain, stress and symptoms of serious illness.
Leaah will look after families and loved ones too, because terminal illness has a ripple effect, impacting not just the patient alone.
While Leah says that her husband, Leighton, 43, and older children, son Dominic, 22, stepson Cieran, 19, daughter Lacey, 18, and stepson Cody, 8, understand why she chooses to work over the festive period, her youngest, Tyler, six, finds it more difficult.
‘Tyler has always struggled to see me go away at Christmas,’ she says.
‘Last year was the first that he’d really begun to understand it, and I remember his eyes filling with tears when he realised I wouldn’t be able to tuck him into bed on Christmas Day.
‘I know the kids miss me while I’m at work and I miss them too. Christmas is a really difficult time to do my job, but that’s why it’s so important.’
Often, Leaah’s patients also have young children who visit over the festive period.
‘It’s lovely to see families come together but so hard to watch little ones trying to be brave,’ she says.
Leeah says that on the day itself, everyone at the hospice, from the kitchen and housekeeping teams to the nurses, go the extra mile to ensure it’s an enjoyable day.
She explains: ‘There’s the paperwork and personal care that is vital all year round, keeping meticulous documentation of each of our 18 patient’s wellbeing, changing dressings, administering some medication and more importantly, being the first port of call for patients who need to talk and offload.
‘But at Christmas I like to go overboard. I organise stockings on every patient’s beds, I make handmade paper snowflakes and hang Christmas ornaments all over the hospice.
‘I also invite patients to write Christmas cards or make trinkets and gifts for their family, if they want to.
‘The hospice organises for a Christmas choir and the cast of a local Christmas theatre show to come and sing and meet everyone too.’
One year, Leeah was even able to fulfil a special request for a patient.
‘A man who had young children was desperate to see the Cardiff Castle Christmas lights show, so I organised his outing and wrapped fairy lights all around his wheelchair.
‘He passed away not long after Christmas.’
Working at a hospice takes an emotional toll on Leeah.
‘It’s not common for patients to die on Christmas Day itself but it does happen and when it does, it’s heartbreaking for their families and the team too. It never gets easier to witness a death,’ she says.
‘I always finish my Christmas shift sitting in my car and having a little cry.
‘It’s hard to decompress and switch off when I get home, but the kids greet me with a big hug and our busy, lively household helps distract me.
‘Last year, I got home on Boxing Day to find that Tyler had made me mince pies and a drawing of our family by the Christmas tree, to welcome me home. He’d drawn a nurse’s hat on my head.’
Leaah says that, even after working at the hospice for two decades, she always questions whether she’s done enough for her patients, but says she’s ‘determined’ to make sure every family’s last Christmas together is as good as can be in the circumstances.
Ultimately, Leaah says her job has taught her invaluable lessons about life and death.
‘Death happens and with it comes so much sadness and loss. But I don’t want to turn away from it.
‘I want to be part of the incredible team that makes sure everyone dies with dignity and if this is their last Christmas, that it’s special.
‘I feel so lucky. I have my health and when the day is over I can go back to my family. My children are happy and healthy and so are Leighton and I — it can be easy to forget that but when you are confronted by death as often as I am, you never take your life for granted.
‘It wouldn’t feel right to spend all of Christmas at home, knowing there are families facing the hardest, saddest times. I need to do what I can to sprinkle a little Christmas magic.’
Marie Curie provides expert care round the clock in peoples’ homes and its hospices across the UK, including throughout the Christmas period. Their free Support Line is also open over the festive period (0800 090 2309). To find out more about how you can support the Marie Curie Christmas Appeal and give care, comfort and joy this Christmas visit their website.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
