This article contains spoilers for tonight’s Emmerdale, which has not yet aired on TV but is available to watch now on ITVX.
Let’s face it. John Sugden (Oliver Farnworth) has the worst evil plan ever in Emmerdale.
Attempting to murder his half-brother Robert Sugden (Ryan Hawley) by framing his prison hubby and self-confessed ‘weapons grade psychopath’ Kev Townsend? That’s one thing. But expecting his ex-husband Aaron Dingle (Danny Miller) to ride off into the sunset with him and somehow forgive the fact that he’s just bumped off the love of his life? I’m starting to see why John’s military career never panned out…
But Delusion is Psycho Sugden’s middle name, and he’s driven by a twisted hero complex which compels him to save his loved ones from danger – but to paraphrase the late great Walter White, he IS the danger!
In the warped mind of the murderous army medic, Aaron has been gaslit and coerced into a relationship by Robert, and killing his brother is the only way to break the cycle. That’s not exactly going well.
The ingenious scheme hit a wee bump in the road when Kev tricked John into setting him free under the pretence of working together, only to give the silly serial killer a proper kicking and steal his sarnies (epic power move).
Now poor John’s no longer got the option of making Robert’s murder look like Kev’s crime of passion. So, he concocts a far more devious plan…
Just kidding. He turns up at Robert’s flat with a shotgun on New Year’s Day, sabotages the boiler and waits for his half-brother to die of Carbon Monoxide poisoning while monologuing his sinister plans with exposition that would make Dr Evil blush.
This also doesn’t go so well when Aaron interrupts. Back to the drawing board, John.
Now, John’s got two hostages, with Robron at his mercy… or has he?
How do you thwart a terrible evil plan? With an even worse plan!
That’s right. Friday’s episode sees Aaron pretend to be enamoured with John and want nothing more than a fresh start with him, Victoria Sugden (Isabel Hodgins) and Harry Sugden (Brody Hall) in Ireland.
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But John’s not falling for that. He wants proof that Aaron is committed to their new life together… and that proof involves Aaron stabbing Robert. Or John will do it himself.
In an Oscar-worthy performance, Aaron plays along with John’s delusion and insists that he loves him, but cannot be with a murderer. Fair enough. It’s good to have boundaries.
Robert plays along, acting like the spurned lover and expressing fake outrage that Aaron could even think about choosing John over him.
But John’s the cat that’s got the cream as he’s seemingly convinced by Aaron’s decision to go with him and sneeringly tells his brother that it’s over – he loses. But Robert responds with a line that should make any writer proud. ‘That’s the thing, Johnny Boy. I’ve not even started playing yet.’
Seizing his moment, Robert tackles John to the ground and the two brothers are locked in a life-or-death struggle… which ends with one of them grabbing the shotgun.
Which Sugden will snuff it? Given that Aaron, John and Robert are all set to appear in the soap crossover episode Corriedale, only one thing is for certain…
John Sugden needs a better evil plan, sharpish.