15 essential things that happen in every Christmas soap special – from failed weddings to death

Christmas is the biggest point in the year for our favourite soaps – but have you ever noticed that, Coronation Street, EastEnders and Emmerdale all tend to follow the same formula every year?

We look forward to them all year long, wondering what on Earth might happen – but, to be honest, we could predict most of it if we put our minds to it.

Here are just some of the things that soap viewers have come to expect every year from the festive season in soapland.

• The strangest guests end up sitting around the same dinner table. Because who doesn’t want to stare at their mortal enemy over a plate of turkey?
• There’s always a huge amount of food to go around too, no matter the financial situation of the family. A massive Mitchell, Barlow, Webster or Dingle feed can’t come cheap.

• Everyone goes to the pub for Christmas. Sitting with the family just doesn’t tend to happen. The pub is where it all happens – well, where else will you find a Christmas punch up, affair reveal or murder?
• No one watches TV either. Of the millions watching Downton, Doctor Who and, uhh, EastEnders – none of our soap favourites are among them.
• Dinner is always ruined. Whether it’s burned or smashed as part of an argument or, most popularly of all, the table is completely overturned, the meal regularly doesn’t even get enjoyed. 
• Driving is dangerous at the end of December. Just ask Tiffany Mitchell (Martine McCutcheon), Jamie Mitchell (Jack Ryder), Dennis Stringer (Charles Dale), Ashley Thomas (John Middleton) and Louise Appleton (Emily Symons), Robert Sugden (Ryan Hawley), Heath Hope (Sebastian Dowling)…well, the list goes on.

• In fact, no-one is safe over Christmas. The death rate inexplicably leaps. Far from being goodwill to all men, it’s often a good stabbing/snowglobe whacking/pushing out of a window/put in a car boot and crushing the vehicle to all men. 
• If you have a secret, expect it to be uncovered over the festive season. You may have kept it quiet all year long, but there’s something in the festive air that just makes people careless.
• Two people will sleep together and completely regret it for months to follow.

• A hapless local will get a live turkey or goose and realise there’s a lot of hassle involved. Les Battersby (Bruce Jones) chased his under a car when it was let loose and Big Mo (Laila Morse) loved to flog live poultry with ‘hilarious’ results. Still, it’s better than trying to deep fry a frozen turky a la Cilla Battersby-Brown (Wendi Peters). 
• Someone will dress up in a silly outfit. Admittedly this has happened a lot less since we lost Barry Evans (Shaun Williamson) and Fred Elliot (John Savident)
• An older character will reminisce about the past, drink copious amounts of alcohol and sing a song around a piano.

• People will get married on Christmas Day and everyone will drop their plans to attend. Annoyingly, it will rarely go ahead. 
• Anyone who declares that it will be the best Christmas ever will seal a very unfortunate fate for themselves.
• The episode will always close with happy scenes involving laughter, partying or carol singing before transitioning into someone crying, looking terrified or being dead. Because contrast.